2014 m. sausio 20 d., pirmadienis

Unique in copying

Have you ever stolen someone’s ideas and gave them a second life honestly thinking that it is your brand new and quite unique thought?

I started noticing that it happens.  And it has happened many times.

I wanted to have a tattoo, because those inked people always look really interesting and it seems they have a story you would definitely want to hear. They are people who want to be asked, who want to show their individualities, strength, beliefs, compassion or devotion. Unfortunately, I never came up with anything what would suit me and could explain me well enough. Oh, there is one tattoo I recently saw on someone else’s wrist that would be glad to wear. But it will be a counterfeit, just one of the millions I wrote my Bachelor and Master thesis about.

After realizing I’m not good in drawing or singing, I wanted to be a writer. And it seemed pretty easy. We did it frequently at school and my teacher liked the way I was able to put all my thoughts together and discuss about various authors’ raised issues in papers. But each time I planned to write something I actually wanted to be one of my favourite writers – sometimes inspiring as P. Coelho (at that time), sometimes funny and sarcastic as well read bloggers, strong and powerful as journalists who were traveling around the world and saw shocking things with their own eyes, or just so simple, easy but magical to read as H. Murakami. I ended up doing all those things one after another, but never managed to finish any of them. Although time is not over yet.

Running became my biggest joy these days. A dream about a full marathon gives me such a big excitement that inspires me to beat another extra kilometer every day, and feel even greater. But my knees are always reminding me of my doctors’ advice not to run at all if I want to save my legs for later years. And despite of it, I still do it, because I heard someone said that all limits are in our heads. And I believe in it. And I’m chasing a better me as that person always running a few steps ahead me in my training.

Counting 5 countries of living came up from travelers I met in my small city. They were interesting to talk and share hundreds of adventure stories. But mostly, they looked more lively when anyone else around me, and so wise, with strong willpower. And what inspired me – “Whatever would be, let it happen!”.

After seeing another commonly shared TED talk, I asked myself what defines me. It’s not that easy to find it. Because everything what is happening to me, has already happened to someone else. What I think what defines me as person might be a principle of another individual. And I look at myself, at things around me. I try to remember my thought about one or another matter. And now honestly I can see how many of them are self-imposed and how many are just someone else’s life I want to “wear”.

And this leads to a confession – I’m actually not that unique, I copy a lot. I copy my friends, because they care about the same things, although we see this word so differently. I share their posts on facebook, I listen to the music they like and if it compliments my taste, I listen to it twice or more, until it becomes mine.

Dear friend, I read books you have already read and watch movies that were also recommended by you. Sometimes I take your thoughts and find myself in some of them. And when I want to write my blog, but yet again I struggle choosing the right and “unique” wording or writing style, unfortunately , I end up by just keeping all those thoughts to myself and sooner or later they all appear in someone else’s posts. Read Tuyana, Alla and Zhenia, they have much more to say when I ever could so many times.

I admire your perception of life, sometimes I want to follow the same pattern. I might like your vision on life and your strong opinion towards one or another thing. I also would like to go on an adventure with you, I would truly support you and ask you if I could join, or share this idea with someone else as mine.

Dear acquaintance or my new friend, I might also remind you of a person you have already met in your life and because of his or her characteristics, very similar interests, behavior, look or even goals, I won’t be that interesting anymore, because you already might know what to expect from me. And you most probably will be right in some points. But I might also surprise you.

And even with all this, I’m not unique without you. Because you inspire me, you make me want to do things I never thought of before or haven’t had the courage to start. You make me dream about the life I didn’t know I can live. You make me move, do things. And because of that I know – there is a long and very wide way to my self discovery. And it’s possible, that even after so many years I still would want to “borrow” some qualities you have.

Surroundings can define a person in many ways. Sometimes we are not even aware of them. But in the end it’s not so bad as long as we are strong in our actions, do it with passion and do them good. We might catch ourselves in the same things as others have previously done. We might dream about new roads which are so common and familiar to many. We might fight a life-changing battle about which others would say “Pfff, what’s so special? I do it every day before breakfast”. But we might also do all those things better or worse, or just different. And we would be that outcome.